How to Stay Together Happily As Married Couple

Marriage is a relationship between two partners - a gentleman and a lady. The Couple (a gentleman and a lady) plan and vow to each other that they will live together whether good or bad for the rest of their lives.

Therefore the option for 'Divorce' is not part of the agreement and have to be prevented because it is not good for both the husband, Wife & Children. So in this post, we will study how to prevent Divorce and stay happily together as married couples.

• Choose your partner carefully.

The person you marry can make or unmake you for life. Choosing a life partner is, therefore, the most important decision you will ever make. Never choose by impulse, looks, money, power and fame. 

  

• Serious Courtship

Marry after serious courtship to make sure you have comparable qualities and can cope with the weaknesses of each other. Never go into marriage hoping to you can change your partner or expect the bad behaviour of a lover to improve. It never does. In fact it may get worse. Expect challenges in your marriage because it is impossible for two partners to stay without disagreement. 

• All partners go through challenges.

The difference between successful and failing marriages is how partners handle their challenges. Challenges themselves are neutral and properly handled they grow the marriage but those poorly handled may break the marriages. Almost every challenge can be solved. The best approach is resolution. Find time to talk about your challenges. Make suggestions about the way forward and make mutual solutions. Apologise where you are wrong. 

• Learn to forgive.

Appreciate that when you refuse to forgive you are predisposing yourself to mental, physical and spiritual harm. The only person who benefits when you forgive is you. If you refuse to forgive the one who is one flesh with you, you behave like someone who keeps drinking poison and expects another to die. Again if you do not forgive, God will not forgive you. Learn to forgive your spouse unconditionally. 

• Put the focus on yourself.

Avoid marriage killers like selfishness, dishonesty, immorality, inequity, substance abuse and poor communication. At the same time, do what builds marriage; appreciation, respect, support, companionship and unconditional love. 

• Develop a positive mental attitude about yourself, your lover and marriage.

If you see your partner as your maker’s greatest gift to you, you will not settle for less. Your partner is not perfect but if you learn to accept his or her flaws, you relationship grows.   

• Love is expensive and that is the price you pay for loving your partner.

Above all never allow anything to come between you and your marriage. Never think of divorce. It has never been a solution. It has always been a problem.

You are welcome to read more of these tips on how to prevent divorce from this book called "the magic of making up".

How to break up a Relationship

Does your to-do list look something like this:

·           Walk dog

·           Water plants

·           Break up with significant other

Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it.  The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do. 

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window. Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it is caput.” 

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt? 

You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance.  The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason.  Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest.  That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them. 

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup.  In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together. 

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship.  If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.   

Don’t put your partner on the defensive.  Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love.  Be present during the break up.  Your partner may become very emotional during this time.  You need to respond to their needs. 

Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship.  Your partner may say things they don’t really mean.  Let these words roll off of your back. Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship.  Or, they may need space.  Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time. 

But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex.  It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you. 

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met.  If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple. You are welcome to download and read this 39-page book on how to save the relationship at a minimal investment. Also check out other dating guides and relationship books to help you to make an informed decision.  

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on. Do leave your questions and comments behind.

Happy dating,
Peace.